ericerbes.com | Animated Shorts [ericerbes.com]
I
wrote (if I do say so myself) a brilliant little essay about my
"Stalker Fly" (of which this short, "Mr. Fly's 15 Frames of Fame",
reminded me) this AM to entertain you all. When I hit the "publish"
button, it said "we can't find a record of this image" (which I tried
to post with this essay) and I lost the whole thing. Ugh. Just one more nail
in my coffin. I need to go get some coffee. Dang, I know this was just
part of the curse of the sTaLker fLy.
Second Attempt: "Curse of the sTaLker fLy"
Since last night I have been unmercifully haunted by a fly. I guess "Stalker Flies" are not so uncommon, as when I searched for an image to depict my latest travails, "voila" I come upon Eric Erbes "Mr. Fly's 15 Frames of Fame" which roughly depicts my current plight.
It all started yesterday, when here I am, minding my own business (as usual), hunched in front of my computer (as usual), deep in the recesses of my cave (as usual), stumbling around the web or some such (as usual), when my nemesis appears, announcing his presence by dive bombing me loudly. I shoo it away but it's a persistant little bugger. I get the fly swatter. Far be it from me to let this some freakin' fly kick my behind. It's a good thing there is no hidden video camera (or is there? Eh, hem...) in my dwelling as it would have looked like "Dance of the Contortionist with Fly Swatter".
Alright, you win this round. I retreat to another chamber in the recesses of the cave. The thing follows me like some well trained pet. (How come none of my pets are this well trained? Maybe Stalker Fly can give them lessons while he's around.) Buzz, buzz, buzz. Although I am generally a terminal insomniac, I figure I'll just retire to my lair. Buzz, buzz. Buzz. I fall asleep, which is highly irregular. Aaah, maybe the Stalker Fly isn't my worst nightmare, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I actually sleep. WOW.
I am usually not up this early on a Saturday morning, save an awkward tickle on my nose and buzzzZZZZZ, buzzzZZZZZ in my ear. I'm not giving in. I refuse. Sleep is hard to come by. I pull the lid of my resting place just a bit tighter. Still that familiar buzz, buzz is in my ear and the tickle is now somewhere else. I jump out of my resting place into the uneasy morning light and grab my flyswatter again. Dag nabit, no food for nearly a day and that thing is still too spry. Buzz, buzz. (Makes this javajane want to cue up Wire's "Eardrum Buzz".)
Well, I resigned myself to unwelcomed co-existance with my newest nuisance. Best I can figure is Stalker Fly is someone I used to know, reincarnated, paying me a friendly visit or he's a sign, telling me I've been a pretty big piece of sh*t lately. It's probably scenario B. Oh, man, why can't they just stick to the old Voodoo Doll? I like that a lot better than "Lord of the Flies" (jj cues up "King of the Flies" by Fad Gadget). Well I let you all know when I finally crush my bug. Until then, consider me, altrockdj, one grumpy bug.
A last parting word to the wise: "Beware of STaLkeR fLiEs..."
||This second rendition pales in comparison to my first deleted version. Sorry, I lost my writing "mojo" after awakening. Don't you hate it when you lose your "mojo"? (or perhaps, you've never been so unlucky...) Hmm, I wonder if Stalker Fly is really Dr. Evil??? Perhaps?
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